When you finish reading this, you probably will think that this is the best tall tale you've ever seen. I, Dan Joyner, tell you that it really happened....
For my tenth birthday, my Aunt Maude gave me a brightly wrapped gift. I opened it eagerly and found....a rubber duckie. I mustered a "Thank you!", and quickly returned the duck to its box.
Later I whined to my parents, "Ten-year old boys don't play with rubber duckies!" But I didn't have much to complain about. I was now the proud owner of a radio-control airplane from Mom and Dad. And the rubber duck WAS kinda cute. After Devotions, I put it on my nightstand and got into bed.
When I awoke the next morning, rubber was pushing against my face! Startled, I jumped out of my bed and looked. Oh, no! The rubber duckie was growing, right there in front of me! But how? And why?? Then I realized that I didn't have time to ponder these questions. I had to find a way to stop it, and fast, because it now covered the entire surface of my nightstand, and looked as if it would pop any minute.
Grabbing the duck, I ran downstairs to the kitchen, hoping to find something there that might help stop its growth. I tried hot water, putting it in the oven, (That was a close fit!) and even salt. Nothing worked. Then, I got an idea. Mom's hairdryer! I looked around. The duck, sitting on the table, was still growing. My parents, in their bedroom, were still sleeping. As quietly as possible, I raced to the bathroom, and was back in record time. But the hairdryer didn't help, either.
Acting on a last, desperate idea, I crammed the duck into our large (Thank goodness!) freezer. Then I dressed, ate breakfast, and went outside to a nearby field to try out my airplane.
Later, as Mom was getting ready to make supper, she called out to the living room, where I was reading, "Dan, what in the world is your LITTLE rubber duck doing in my freezer?"
I started laughing, and couldn't stop. "Don't ask, Mom.", I gasped, "You wouldn't believe me if I told you!"
Well, that was three months ago. My rubber duck, Goliath, is now normal size, and has not tried to grow since then. I still don't know why he grew in the first place. He stays on my nightstand, where I can keep an eye on him. I've never told anybody the story before now. But it IS true!
If you ever come to visit me, don't bring any rubber duckies, OK?