Don't you just hate it when being a nice person turns around to bite you in the ass? This always seems to be happening to me, but rarely in the recent past hasn't happened with such ferocity.
I debated about whether to blog about this for awhile, but someone said I should put it out there. This is my life after all.
Okay, so you remember those nice little IRS kicker checks everyone was so excited about? Mine arrived in due time, but I didn't have much to do with the windfall, so I planned to save it, and I did. About two weeks later, a friend who has helped me many times in the past was told in the power company office with me present that despite his payment plan, because he was so far behind, he was going to get his power shut off the next day unless he put something down. This person has a family and was in the process of getting a job he needed power for. I was with him because I was just walking around with him while he paid bills because we were going to eat lunch after. Anyway, people are always helping me, so I saw a chance to do the same and I did. And I still don't regret that. I will get paid back on my friends first payday, this coming week.
Things were fine until I looked at my bank website a couple weeks later, (one should really look every day; head subtracting doesn't always work, as you will see) I noticed that I was really close to empty. Apparently, the IRS, or someone pretending to be them, which is unfortunately more likely, decided that I was only worth half the original amount of the kicker check because I have never actually worked or paid into the system or paid taxes. This kind of makes sense to me, but I don't know why they would change their minds midstream, so I have multiple people on the case, from both the legitimate possibility angle, as well as the more probable identity theft type of angle. Anyway, again, I was okay. I just wouldn't spend anything on the card. And I didn't.
Groovy, except I forgot about those automatic withdrawal things, like for Internet (needed) online games I haven't played in months and something that is like Netflix only all on your computer, (WTF? Those accounts are now canceled, trust me, but they are sneaky when they automatically withdraw. Because if you have money to cover them you don't even think about it. Lord I hope I'm not the only one who ever falls into the trap.) And yes, I've already had the gentle lecture about helping my friend in the first place when there are plenty of public helps in place, especially for power, but I'm still glad I did it. Good karma rocks.
But what this means for me today is that my bank, who shall remain nameless but goes under the slogan "woo hoo!", had $454 in it when I woke up this morning. Which would seem like a jackpot, except for the fact that my rent is $494. I'm supposed to start out with $615 or so every month. Stupid overdraft fees.
So why am I writing about this? I guess mostly for the venting factor and the personal finance lesson. I will be fine. I paid $394 of the rent and will pay the rest when I get paid back, and I don't think they are going to kick me out on the street. The point is that they could, I guess, and since the people that read this are my friends, I'm presenting an opportunity to help if you would like by clicking on my little tip jar button. Everything received will go toward paying down the rent. Anything over will be put in the bank and ignored until such time as it is actually needed. All unnecessary automatic withdrawals have been canceled.
If you cannot help in this, or do not wish to, that is okay as well. I'm just doing something I don't usually do and putting my own needs out there. I know, I know, I should put them first always. (Is that Pony I hear screaming at the top of his lungs? Giggle.) And I'm learning. I am. Quiet smile in a certain direction. But in the immortal words of DC Talk:
Some people gotta learn the hard way. I know I'm the kind of guy who has to find out for myself...
But still sometimes I hate myself for always putting others first without even thinking. I do usually like this trait, because I think it's what makes me different from most others on the planet. It also is what makes me get hurt. And I so hate getting hurt. Especially recently. Especially because I try so hard. What does everybody think? Should I stay this way or work extra hard at trying to be a little harder when it comes to feeling other people's energy and needs and caring so much? And if you are of the opinion that I should change, do you have any advice on how?
Lift your voices. I wanna know... laughing. Me and music. It's a song, or song fragments of a song called lift your voices by georgie Porgy. Spelling probably incorrect. My brain automatically does that when it is trying to heal.
Anyway, I love you all and value your input and any help.
Oh, and as a PS, I did talk to my "family" about this. They are of the opinion I should learn from my own mistakes and are sending the usual $30 check in a couple weeks. Of course, this is the same "family" who told me recently that my hair was too long, not regulation length. When I incredulously asked my brother in law if I was now in the Army like him, he responded that I was under his command. Which apparently he wanted to be the last thing he said to me before deploying for Iraq, which he does the day after tomorrow. Deep, world-weary sigh.
Fortunately, I do have real family. Thank God for you all.