The Blog of Daniel

Just my place to write without any delusions of self-importance.

Lines I've used.

My friend Bev passed away today.  I hurt for her and I hurt for her family, but I laugh at an email she sent to me a while back.  I've actually been able to use a lot of these in conversations.

Here's to you, Bev...

  1. Okay, okay!  I take it back.  Unfuck you!
  2. You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing?!
  3. How many times do I have to flush before you go away?
  4. Well this day was a total waste of make-up
  5. Well aren't we a fucking ray of sunshine?
  6. Don't bother me, I'm living happily ever after.
  7. Do I look like a fucking people's person!
  8. This isn't an office.  It's HELL with florescent lighting.
  9. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
  10. I pretend to work, they pretend to pay me.
  11. YOU!...  Off my planet!
  12. Therapy is expensive.  Popping bubble plastic is cheap.  You choose.
  13. Practice random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self-control.
  14. Errors have been made.  Others will be blamed.
  15. And your cry-baby, whiny-assed opinion would be.....?
  16. I'm not crazy.  I've been in a very bad mood for 30 years.
  17. Sarcasm is just one more service I offer.
  18. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
  19. Do they ever shut up on your planet?
  20. I'm not your type.  I'm not inflatable.
  21. Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't gone to sleep yet.
  22. Back off!  You're standing in my aura.
  23. Don't worry.  I forgot your name too.
  24. I just want revenge.  Is that so wrong?
  25. I work 45 hours a week to be this poor.
  26. Nice perfume.  Must you marinate in it.
  27. Not all men are annoying.  Some are dead.
  28. Wait...I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
  29. Chaos, panic and disorder .  .  .  my work here is done.
  30. Ambivalent?  Well yes and no.
  31. You look like shit.  Is that the style now?
  32. Earth is full.  Go home.
  33. Aw, did I step on your poor little bitty ego?
  34. I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
  35. A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth. 
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