The Blog of Daniel

Just my place to write without any delusions of self-importance.


After a week of mourning over the loss of myself, today I made an important decision about my future and my friends.

For as long as I can remember, I have always wanted my friends to know what I am feeling and then want to help me.  That line of thinking proved to be a failure and it's days are gone.

I'm not waiting for you anymore.  If you want to call yourself my friend, then I have expectations of you.  Serious expectations.

From every person who claims to be my friend, I deserve and  expect the following:

  • I expect you to invite me out for lunch every once in a while.  I will do the same.
  • When it is obvious that something is on my mind and that I need to talk, I expect you to ask me about it, listen to me, and offer help and/or advice when you can.  At the minimum, I expect acknowledgement.  I do this for you, so I expect you to do this for me.
  • I expect you to call me once in a while, just like I call you.  Not just when you want something, but even when you don't.
  • I expect to be invited to your home every once in a while.  Maybe for movie or dinner or whatever.
  • I expect you to accept invitations to my home.
  • I expect inclusion.  If you have a home party or non-family get-together, I expect to be invited to a few of them.
  • I am not asexual.  If you have a nice single female friend who is looking for a kind, loving and highly intelligent man who is not a bum, I expect you to introduce us.  Don't decide if she will like me or not, let us decide that.
  • I am a touch person.  I like to hug and I sometimes touch you when I speak so that you are aware of my friendship and compassion.  If you are a person who accepts my touch, then I expect you to give me random hugs for no other reason than it would make me feel loved.
  • I have never said no when asked for a favor.  I expect the same from you.  I will never ask any friend to do anything illegal, immoral, unethical or out of their means so there is no excuse for saying no.
  • I'm not a hallmark holiday person.  I do not expect holiday gifts.  What I do expect is random tokens of your friendship.  It can be a card, or cookies or even a pretty rock you found in an alley.  I feel good when I give and I feel loved when you think I am worth giving to.
  • If you are one of my many online friends, I expect your emotional support.  Lord knows I give all of you mine.  If I don't get it, I am going to stop talking to you.

These are not demands.  I can't force you to do any of these.  These are things that are expected in any valid friendship and I expect no less.

I am not going to stay depressed because of other peoples lack of attention to my needs.  I am attentive to your needs and I expect you to be attentive to mine.  If you cannot do these things, I will notice and in the interest of my own well-being, I will need to stop having anything to do with you.

I am a kind, loving, intelligent and fun person and I deserve no less than this from anyone who claims to be my friend.

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