I am sorry
that I'm just a little too much.
I am angry
that I will never be enough.
You twisted a knife into my soul.
The rain is blood. Was that your goal?
You spat in my face to mock the rain
and now expect me to smile through the pain,
to give you strength to walk away.
Well, I'm not doing that today.
You could never see this through
because of the one thing I can't change.
And I should never rearrange myself for anyone.
But you expect for me to try.
And you're unfazed by tears I cry.
I'm losing life before your eyes.
Why can't you see me?
I give all of myself to everyone.
I tried to give my life blood to you.
But you see nothing but what you need,
whatever in the moment that gets you through.
A shiny child who always smiles
with endless strength you wish you had.
Well, I'm not she, I'll never be,
so that's just too bad.
But you expect for me to try.
And you're unfazed by tears I cry.
I'm screaming right before your eyes.
Why can't you hear me?
You made your choice, so get your voice out of my head.
You made your goal, so get your soul out of my bed.
Let me be. Let me take back music and sing free.
Easy that will not be.
But I expect that I will try.
And I'm washed clean by tears I cry.
I'm gaining life through my soul's eyes.
The world will see me. Soon.
Real love will free me. And
then I will be me.
- Amber May 18, 2006