When will the mourning stop

My Protector; Soulmate; Helpmate is gone! GONE? My heart feels so heavy with grief it mars! Maybe I will plant a red maple tree like your long red hair blowing wild and free; dreams reaching out to the sky; with no limits reminding me of our yesterdays young bright hopes & surprises with it's roots grabbing the earth so strong like inexperienced youths beginnings; --- only to be shaken by realities harsh winds from tomorrows dark skies; blowing messy bright; colorfull leaves around falling like mournful tears from my eyes perhaps; scattering fears about --- then tying trying to catch all of them too : in a tidy pile as if lifes has guarantees then could be kept; swept up neatly in; a bag showing off it's bright colors giving us some small glint of hope; holding on to happy times as long as we can; only to have time change & shrivel and return to natures compost heap then trying to nourish steady; strong roots back ;hopefully being able to grab on to many secure cycles of new beginnings as I hear many singing birds emitting&elimamating off a limb giving back to nature as you have; instead of flipping the bird you may be surprisingly be doused from a quick swift sway & maybe a spray of the tree followed by a sarcastic whisperings Tee! Hee! Hee! Perhaps this future tree rejuvenates my memories moving me on so slowly perhaps happily,At least contentedly.