Diane's Writings

The Jerk

I need to vent. 

I just discovered I don't have an application I need.  I had no idea and didn't look until now.  So, in desperation, I called Jack (yes, he's usually up this late) and told him what happened.  He made me feel like the biggest idiot.  I really HATE asking anyone for favors, even him, even though I do crap for him all the freakin time.  I hate it when people make me feel like I'm stupid or like I'm really imposing on them.  If there was ANY way I could get that software, I would have done it before putting myself through what he just put me through. 

I hate asking people for help for anything.  It just kills me.  I hate getting turned down so much. 

I am so angry right now.  I do things for him without him ever asking me to - little chores around his house and yard that make his life a little easier.  He must think the cigarette butt fairies come and clean his front porch.  I pick him up when his car needs to go to the shop and drive him around all day on his errands.  And he can't burn one damn CD for me? 

He of all people should know how hard it is to ask for help.  People don't come when you call for help and they leave when you need them. 

If there was any way I could not get this software from him I would tell him to fuck off.  I asked him if there was anything I could do for him in return and he said no and then complained what a pain in the ass I am.  Those were his words "You're a pain in the ass."

That's a pretty big nerve for me - to be thought of as a bother.  I grew up being told I was a pain in the ass and worthless.  I have no fear when it comes to taking care of myself. 

My only fear is asking for help and no one answers. 

Okay, I think I'm done venting.  That jerk.