How am I not me?
This question inspired a lot of thought recently, it was asked at the end of the movie I was watching and it really got the old cogs turning!
At first glance when asking ourselves this question we would probably think how am I not "not me"? I am me! How can I not been myself? But when we look at it a little closer how many of us change the way we are according to the different people, places and situations we are in and around in our daily lives?
I know for a fact that when "I" am alone I can actually get a little selfish, I get into the things that only "I" am interested in doing and get zoned in so to speak, oblivious to everything else that goes on around me and I don't want it to be over until "I'm" good and ready! Is this "me" being me?
On the other hand when I am with my wife, I try to be caring, considerate appreciative, kind and thoughtful Not because "I" have to be but because "I" want to be. I don't choose a movie based on my own preferences, "we" choose one we would both like.
I try to be considerate when it comes to what "we" eat and go for things we both like unless I am really craving something in particular and then I try and give fair warning so "she" has the opportunity to maybe get something in for "herself" etc etc.
In a nutshell, when it comes to relationships I think it all comes down to consideration in the end. I love and respect "my" wife very much and these are but a few of the many ways in which I try to show it!
Is there any room for "me" in a "we"? I do think it is important to make a little room, a little "me" time but it isn't always easy.
Now when I'm with my friends, especially when it's just "the guys" I am definitely different to how I am usually "me". Most inhibitions and manners fly completely out the window when "we" talk "guy talk".
However intelligent or dumb, respectful or disrespectful the content, we talk about it in a much more relaxed way than we would around others.
However stupid we think each other may be in these conversations or how much we insult each other when we disagree we remain friends and cannot wait to meet up the next time! It is actually quite relieving not having to be so "on guard".
I can insult my friend, while asking him to get me a beer perhaps, usually with more profanity than needed, smile about it, and get the beer I asked for while laughing about it! Things I really wouldn't do with my family excluding my brother.
So again, is this really me being "me", or "not me"? Like I previously mentioned it is nice being able to be so "free", not having to worry about my p's & q's but if I can only do this with certain people how much of it is really "me"?
How about in public places? "I" act differently around anybody I meet out in public whether "I" know them or not. Just to be polite! And as anybody I hope with half an ounce of common sense when dealing with anybody who can help "you" or any kind of official, "I" am on my best behaviour! Whether it a policeman, receptionist or waiter because I believe it just makes things easier, a little respect, kindness and appreciation go a long way when it comes to getting what "I" want. Unless of course I find myself dealing with an absolute moron!
It's beginning to sound like a lot of hard work being "me"!
Some people believe they are themselves because of the different ways they express themselves externally. With things like a haircut or the clothes they wear a piercing or a tattoo. That this kind of expression of individuality is what makes them "them" and if they were not allowed to express themselves in this way they would not be "themselves"!
Also others believe a similar thing when it comes to how they express themselves creatively, through art and writing and other such forms of self-expression.
I believe these things are a part of you but not necessarily what defines you, some would disagree. I can relate to these things very much, I have a ponytail and can be quite creative but these things are just me showing the world a little part of "me "!
So which one is really me?
I think some people would quite possibly argue that one is more "you" over the other. The one you are most comfortable with perhaps, where you are not putting on airs? The one where you feel you are more like yourself than any other without all the BS but how do we know or choose and which one is which?
They all feel like "me" just in different situations and circumstances!
Could it possibly be that the collective "me" and the ways I interact and change my behaviour throughout these different situations and circumstances that makes me, "me"?
I would like to think so but at the end of it all, all I really know for a fact is that I go through several "me's" a day and every single one of them is "me"!