At home and at work I have my custom google login page set up so it shows me a quote of the day. I love these things because many times a single sentence uttered by another can give great insight into my own life and the world around me. Take this quote for instance:
"There is only one basic human right,
the right to do as you damn well please.
And with it comes the only basic human
duty, the duty to take the consequences."
-- PJ O'Rourke
What a great quote! PJ O'Rourke has poured out a ton of great quotes in his lifetime. And then there is this quote:
"Half of the problem is the utter bullshit
and fucking lameass dipshits one has to
deal with on a daily basis." -- Tracey
Tracey is an old friend from days long ago. I haven't talked to her in so long that I can't even remember her last name but I do remember this quote -- and this unrelated tidbit -- once when a discussion turned to the subject of sexual preferences she proudly told me that hers was "cucumber." I suppose it was because cucumbers are cheap, disposable and can fill a basic need without all the extraneous bullshit. There is just too much extraneous bullshit in life.
I'm a software engineer. A damned good one. Oh, I'm a cranky one too. I haven't always been cranky but after nearly a decade of having to constantly push down my overwhelming desire to beat some common sense into a select few, that desire is now leaking out in the form of general crankiness while in the presence of those same select few.
But still, I'm the kind of engineer where if you ask me for something, anything, you can hand me a ball of string, a box of toothpicks and a 3 pound ball of hot fermenting buffalo shit that even a drunken dung beetle wouldn't touch, and I can make it work. The only thing I ask of the person making the request is that they immediately jump into a vat of hardening concrete so I am left alone long enough to actually get the job done. More often than not, by the time they extract the person's desiccated body from the hardened slab I will have turned those working materials into a beautiful golden calf worthy of the grandest of heathen worship.
Others equate my skills to those of a magician. Unlike the average magician who can only pull rabbits out of hats, there has been more than one time where I have had to pull rabbits out of my ass.
"I am all out of rabbits!" -- Daniel P. Stasinski
Do I sound like I am rambling? It would appear so, but I'm not. There are at least two people out there who as they read this are probably reaching to heaven and saying "Amen! Sing it my brother, sing it!" Consider this to be my way of venting loudly while avoiding calling a spade a spade.
To the select few, all I ask of you is this... If you tell me what you want and give me the means to do it, I can hand you a miracle. Yes, I can turn shit into the shiniest of Shinola! The only thing I can't do is read your mind.
"Avery existent highland macrostructure casey
embeddable welles dismissal hero ankara
conquest author brigantine chuckle saskatchewan
quake bred opiate knurl abstract ecstasy cavalcade
nostril downright hillcrest damnation sprung
musty puberty proof" -- A Spammer
That last quote was just some random shit that was supposed to be a spam email but the spammer was too stupid to include anything else about what he was spamming. Sadly though, it makes more sense than some of the requests I get on a daily basis.
Are there any other IT people out there who understand what I am saying?