The Blog of Daniel

Just my place to write without any delusions of self-importance.

Secret Porn Mogul

I know I said I would never mention her again, this was just too funny to pass up.  Okay, it's serious -- serious enough for me to refer it to my attorney for potential legal action as well as getting all the legal paperwork to obtain an Injunction from Harassment order against her from a judge -- but it does have some comedic value.

A couple days ago I learned some rather interesting facts about myself that I never knew...

Apparently, I am not who I say I am.  According to the same young woman mentioned in prior entries (who herein shall be referred to as the Psycho Chik); who says according to her friend who thinks I have beady eyes; who says according to the private investigator he allegedly hired (and verified by his unknown lawyer), I am not really employed as the senior software engineer for the corporation who has been unwittingly paying me every week for the last 6 years, but rather I work in the porn movie industry, I'm not sure whether I am an "actor" or a "cinematographer" in this fantasy but I do intend to find out.

On the bright side of things, it turns out that I am not really disabled.  My Arthrogryposis Multiplex Congenita, Scoliosis, Asthma, Epilepsy, Meniere's Syndrome, and cluster migraines are all part of my ruse to get gimp chicks.  The Harrington rod attached to my spine and all my scars are special effects too, no doubt created by the special effects department of my pornographic empire.

cowporn.jpg

Last but not least, the afore mentioned private investigator also allegedly broke into my home and found all sorts of evidence to support his claims of my ties to the porn appreciation industry.  I've spent 2 days pondering this one and I think it may have something to do with the two toy cows I have laying on a table in the corner of my living room.  Though I never intended it, they they do indeed appear to be in an awkward position.  Sometimes a pile-o-cows is not a pile-o-cows.

In any case, I would like to meet this private investigator to learn his home invasion secrets.  He must really know his stuff since he got past my 4 live security cameras and several dozen motion detectors, radar proximity sensors, vibration sensors and door & window sensors with me being none the wiser.  Oh, and he was even nice enough to lock the deadbolt from the outside when he left.  I would like to hire this guy.    This leads me to wonder how the friend of Psycho Chik was able to hire such a professional since to my understanding his income falls into the "Lives with mom and dad and relies on public transportation" bracket.

Simply amazing.

I no longer feel sorry for her.  I feel sorry for her parents for being forced to raise such a manipulative pathological liar who doesn't know how to keep her pants up and her mouth shut.  Thankfully and by the grace of God, her little sister got all the integrity and intelligence and will probably go quite far in life if Psycho Chik doesn't intentionally try to screw it all up out of her stated jealousy for her.  When someone repeatedly refers to her little sister as "a little bitch", there can only be trouble ahead.

That's all for now.  I'll write about my vacation tomorrow.

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