The Blog of Daniel

Just my place to write without any delusions of self-importance.

It's not easy being green.

I have but a simple request: Engage brain before speaking.  Not clear enough?  Okay, how's this: Until you've thought about what you're about to say, shut up.  Please.

I'm tired of having a physical disability.  More so now than I have ever been in my life.  Perhaps it's slight depression or even these damned headaches, but I feel it just the same.

Maybe it's just a statistical anomaly but way too many people in the last few weeks have been making it a point to highlight the fact I have a disability.  Why?

Last week I went with a co-worker to a monthly meeting she's required to attend.  Afterward, we always stop at a sandwich shop and pick up lunch.  This time around, her car died in the parking lot.  Her boyfriend suggested over the phone that we push it across the street to a service station.  She yelled loudly "he can't push it because he's a total gimp!"  Later she told me she said it just to emphasize how much distress she was in.  What about my distress from being humiliated?  I've pushed cars before.  No problem!  I've climbed up and down near vertical mountain faces, once to an altitude of 11,000 feet.  No problem!  I've hiked 120+ miles in a single week.  No problem!  Get the idea?

I don't do things to prove I can do them, I do things because I enjoy doing them.

Yesterday at the resort where I spend weekends, a man I don't really know came up to me and asked "So, were you born that way or did something happen to you?"  Rather than rip his throat out or ask him something like "So, how long have you been an alcoholic?"  I carefully explained what my disability was.  In retrospect, I should have said more, like that he should mind his own business or at the at very least know my first name, my hobbies, job etc before asking such a personal question.  I'm too nice to idiots.  Before leaving, he said "I have to admire you, it takes a lot of guts for you to come to this place."  Screw you.

Today my boss said something about "...  you could use that as an explanation about how you got that way ..."  How I got this way?  I'm paraphrasing because I don't recall the whole conversation.  My head was hurting and the asprin hadn't kicked in yet.  Aside from the previous paragraph's example of ambush induced lack of balls, I don't need to explain anything to anyone.  This wasn't the first time he's said something that hurt.

Others this week have done the same and the net result was me walking away hurt.  I'm tired of it.

Attention everyone...  I, like every other person on the planet, have emotional desires, intellectual desires, physical desires and sexual desires.  The things I have gained I have done so on my own merit, not the charity of any other person.  I am my own man.  To those who don't want to acknowledge these facts or just want to explain me away with the all encompassing "crippled" label, kindly stay out of my face.

And finally, stop pointing out to me the fact I have a disability, I already know.

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