Well here we go! It seems that there are some really negative forces going on lately and I am not immune. For the past seven years I've enjoyed a pretty good friendship with a woman at work. We've shared secrets together, watched each other get promoted and demoted. Especially the latter.
My friend was demoted about two years ago and was never told the truth as to why. Management never tells the truth about things like this, they usually speak in very vague terms and leave you to wonder to what extent the problem ever was. Around the shop most people "got it". I was one of the people who understood it but did not agree with the methods that were used to achieve the demotion. My friend and I formed a fairly strong alliance after that and even had a few other people "along for the ride".
In time this alliance became toxic. I tend to like people and enjoy doing my job (what is left of it). My friend seemed to be interested in bashing just about everyone that worked with us. Most of the time I listened and didn't say much outside of throwing out the occasional defense for the people being bashed. I happen to like each and every person inside of our department. I perform someting of a service task for the department so I often work with everyone. My ability to maintain a decent working relationship with people is important. This is where the problems started.
When my friend had her original position I spent most of my day working along side of her. Most of my projects directly involve that person. This meant that I was spending a great deal of time working with her direct replacement whom I actually did not mind working with at all. My reluctance to bash this individual caused a lot of turbulance between my friend and I. Often I found myself not wanting to talk about the individual just because it was becoming more and more clear that we did not agree... my efforts kept things going for a few more months than they might have but eventually it has come to a head and popped in a big gooey mess.
My friend accused me of eating lunch with someone other than her. First of all, the accusation wasn't even true and secondly, how is that even a crime? Although I regularly ate lunch with this person, it wasn't every day that our lunches were at the same time. Also, the person I supposedly ate lunch with is a new guy whom I know outside of the company, I do things with this person outside of work. It would actually make perfect sense if we had eaten lunch together. The lunch that never happened wasn't the problem, there was a lot of anger and jealousy brewing and finally it caught up with us. There are no hellos now even when we pass each other in the hallway...
I made a couple of efforts to start conversations which were coldly ignored to the point of pretending not to hear or see me at all. I've gone too far in the betrayal (which never even happened) at this point. I am too kind to the "enemy" and now I share his scorn :/
This has opened up my lunch hour and I've been playing musical chairs in the cafeteria... it bugs me that this is the end of a pretty good friendship.... 7 years!!! ouch...