It's been awhile since I wrote about something quite this deep, but for some reason today I'm feeling the need to go here, so I'm just going to go with it, and see what ends up coming out.
Valentine's Day was the first and last time Cullen, his family, and I got to share a meal together. Though I didn't think much about at the time, his family says Grace before every meal. Recently I've been thinking about this, and have decided that when we get the opportunity to share another meal, I wanna be the one who leads Grace for a number of reasons. First, I think it's an amazing tradition that I would be honored to be a part of, especially considering the fact that I intend on being part of Cullen's life for a very long time to come. Next there's the fact that when I'm with them, no matter how long it is, I feel a sense of peace that I haven't had the opportunity to experience in a long time, if ever! I really truly believe in my heart of hearts that the Lord brought us together for a specific reason, and it wasn't just so I could help Cullen say all the things that he'd been wanting to all these years, but also because I think He knew that I needed two people in my life whose faith was as strong as theirs, and whose belief in Him appears to be as unwavering as any two peoples could possibly be.
I've always said that I have a lot to be thankful for, and I've always done my best to make sure that I tell Him how grateful I am for all the blessings that He brings, and has brought into my life. However, I haven't always been very good at leaning on Him as my primary, and true best friend! Prior to meeting them, I hardly ever found myself looking up and praying for strength or assistance in complaining some of my daily tasks, regardless of what they were. Now, I find myself throwing up silent prayers several times a day, sometimes one every couple minutes depending on what I'm doing, and how much help I need. Why have I become so emphatic about doing this? Simply because since I met them, and started developing my personal relationship with Him, I've seen what the power of prayer can do, and it's far beyond what any coincidence could ever produce.
Let me give you one example. A couple weeks ago, I was very sad and very lonely because I hadn't seen or talk to Cullen in several weeks, and I was missing him terribly. So, as I was sitting in my bedroom reading, I looked up and said a silent prayer that we would see each other VERY SOON! Just as I was finishing it, I heard Skype alert me that I had a message, so I went to go check it. It turns out it was Pam, his mom, just asking me how I was. Now, if she had done this at any other time aside from right when I was finishing the prayer, it would've never crossed my mind to connect the two, but because of the timing, I knew in my heart of hearts that this was His way of telling me that I had the ability to stay connected with him even though we couldn't physically be together at that moment.
All of these reasons combined are reasons I wanna be able to say Grace next time we're together for a meal! I've got SO MUCH to be thankful for when it comes to these THREE....the Lord being the third! That's why I'm posing this question to both you: Can I PLEASE have the IMMENSE PLEASURE of saying Grace the next time we have the opportunity to share a meal together???