As I start writing this, it's about 7:30PM on Monday evening. It will only be a short time before I go lay down for the night. I need to for a number of reasons. The most pressing of which is the fact that my butt is really sore. I've been battling a pressure sore on and off for seven years. I don't have trouble with it often, but if and when it does decide to do something stupid, it's big and bad. During these times, the best thing I can do is take all the pressure off of it by laying down.
Fixing the physical pain in my butt is easy. Where's the problem then? In the core cutting loneliness that ensues almost each and every night as I get ready to go to bed. In the quiet that envelops the room after everyone is gone, and it's just me, my radio, and my TV. Granted, I love listening to Delilah each weeknight evening, and hearing all of the inspirational stories that her listeners have to share. Not only that, but who doesn't like a show that makes you stop and think now and then? I mean, come on, not only do they make you stop and think, but they make great conversation starters for the following day! 
If truth be told though, both intellectually stimulating TV shows, and Delilah's radio show are only giving me things to do to try to mask, forget about, and even sometimes deny the pain of going to bed alone each and every night. To make matters even worse is fact that when this issue starts to bug me, and my emotions start to show on my face, someone will ask me what's wrong. After I explain it to them, they usually say something like, "Well, your bed isn't big enough anyway."
So, what? Have any of you ever thought that maybe the reason I DON'T have a bigger bed at this point is because it would just be MORE empty space that I CAN'T fill now? With comments like that, it's pretty apparent that none of you understand, or want to understand! If the latter is the case, please do me the favor of keeping your comments to yourself! You'll never understand how much you making light of my PAIN hurts!!! JUST STOP!!!!! I hope none of you are ever in this situation, because if you are, I'm gonna have a hard time not sitting back and saying, "I told you so!"
In the midst of this rant, I MUST give credit where credit is due! There are two people in my life right now who understand, empathize, and sympathize with my pain! You two know who you are!!! My deepest appreciation goes out to you both for just being there to hear me out!!!! *hugs*
For those of who are lucky enough not to go to bed alone, do me a favor and cherish the time you have to snuggle close! If you ever start to take it for granted, just think about how much I would give for that opportunity!!!!