If you've been on the Internet more than a week you have probably received an email or two from some random person with a made up name like Dr. Bengiman Umbuku or something similar; offering you a share of millions of ill-gotten dollars. These are known as 419-scammers and their mission is to fleece as much money as they can from incredibly stupid greedy people before the stupid greedy people catches on that they are being scammed.
On the flip side, there is another group called Scam-Baiters who take great enjoyment in wasting the time of the scammers and sometimes even fleecing them back.
I've never been able to scam a 419 scammer back but a few years ago I did have a lot of fun with a random pervert in a chatroom. This person would come in often, sometimes as a man and other times as a woman and would systematically cybersex each and every occupant in the room. Nobody else seemed to catch on to the fact it was the same person. I knew my prince/princess would come some day so I made it a point to have fun.
Here's the log:
Private conversation with sarah.[sarah has address ~u33418923@mpx-2BEE974D.ncmc.cc.mi.us]
sarah: hello daniel
Daniel: hi
sarah: whats your asl daniel
Daniel: male 39
sarah: female 34
sarah: i smile at daniel
Daniel: :)
sarah: would you like to take a walk with me daniel
Daniel: where to?
sarah: to the beach
Daniel: ok, but i have a question first
sarah: what
Daniel: You know when you're alone
in your room at night and that 'special urge' hits you? Who do you
fantasize about while you're touching? A) Hansen. B)
Backstreet Boys. or C) Rosie O'Donnell?
sarah: the backstreetboys
Daniel: Do you ever have dreams about being at school and you're naked?
sarah: i did along time
Daniel: When you have these
dreams, does your dream teacher give you a better grades when you dream
you are naked or when you dream you have clothes on?
sarah: when i have my clothes on
Daniel: Have you ever found a stray kitten and taken it home?
sarah: yes
Daniel: Does it ever sometimes speak to you and tell you to do things?
sarah: no
Daniel: what color are your cat's eyes?
sarah: black and yellow
Daniel: who picked your cats eye color?
sarah: he was born with his eye color
Daniel: hmmm, how does your cat feel about that?
sarah: i kiss daniels lips softly
* Daniel leans over to kiss sarah, his tongue thrusting deep into sarah's.... um..... oh no..... LEFT NOSTRIL!!!?
* Daniel runs towards the bathroom, screaming, while a long string of green nasal mucus dangles from his tongue.
* Daniel scrubs off his tongue with a scrub brush.
* Daniel screams "oh fuck! it's the toilet brush!"
* Daniel starts pouring bottles of Listerine over his tongue and into his open mouth.
* Daniel returns from the bathroom, unbuttons his top shirt button, winks at sarah and sits next to her again.
Daniel: Wow. Hey, if you could be any animal, what would you be?
sarah: i would be a bird
Daniel: thats cool. Um, do you wear plain white socks or multi-colored ones?
sarah: white ones
Daniel: ooh, that excites me. do you still have your wisdom teeth?
sarah: yes
Daniel: great!!!! oh, btw... do you have a dog named Spot, Rover or Fido?
Daniel: are you still there?
sarah: i dont have a dog
Daniel: darn :(
Daniel: well okay, i guess i should ask how many pairs of shoes do you own? and what colors?
sarah: can we take a walk daniel
Daniel: can we drive to the beach instead? i always get sand in my shoes
sarah: ok i will drive
Daniel: okay
Daniel: wake me when we get there, just in case i doze off
sarah: we get into the car and drive to the beach
Daniel: wheeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!! i love cars!!!!
sarah: wake up daniel we are here
* Daniel wakes up groggy and says "are we still in kansas, auntie em?"
Daniel: so, describe your penis, please
sarah: we are at the beach
Daniel: your penis looks like a beach?
sarah: no, we are at the beach
(... long silence ...)
Daniel: did i do something wrong?
sarah: i am a female not male
Daniel: ohhh! ok, i get it now!
Daniel: well, describe your vagina type thingy then
sarah: kiss me daniel
* Daniel has a flashback to just moments before and rubs his tongue with his thumb.
Daniel: hey wait, arent you gonna describe it?
sarah: you can see for your self
Daniel: hmmm, all i see is letters, punctuation and stuff.
*** sarah (~u33418923@mpx-2BEE974D.ncmc.cc.mi.us) has quit
That was it. Do you think she still respects me?