Wow. So much to write.
We made it to September. This is mostly a good thing. I am mostly healthy. This is very much a good thing. My happy pill dose was increased. Good thing. Spasms very much increased. Bad thing.
My counselor is going to work with me on untangling some of the past so that I can figure out why I am still being kind of held by fear and anger. This is kind of scary but I'm glad I asked her to do it, rather than just talking about whatever happens in between sessions. And she wants me to write down some things I want to say to people that I can not do right now in real life, because she says reading them out loud might help. I don't know but I'm willing to try.
My neurologist increased my anti-spasm drug to the maximum doses per day, so we will see how that helps. Not looking forward to it because it will make me more sleepy for a while, but if it helps, it's better than having a surgically placed continuous pump. I'm willing to do that if I need to, but I'm pretty done with surgery for a while.
Apparently, after a year, the antidepressant needs to be adjusted to work properly. This was also scary, but it seems to be working a lot better. I still get sad, but I'm better able to handle it now. And everyone around me notices a change. Which is important.
The staffing here right now is crazy. Because of my new roommate, who is cool, they have to have two people on most of the time during the day, including overnight. So there are a lot of open shifts. And two of them are pregnant; one of them refusing to do any lifting or anything, so the two of us that need two people if we need major help are pretty much up a creek when that person is working. It's crazy. And because of all the shifts in the air that my mentally challenged roommate can feel, he is really noisy in his stressed vocalizations. Nonstop. Thank God for music and my Bluetooth headset.
Daniel and I have tried to counteract all of this by being out of the house whenever the hot weather eases up a little bit or when there is no choice, like doctors appointments. It's been interesting to try to learn some more of the public transportation around here. It's very lacking. And I thought Portland was bad about people not moving from accessible seating areas. Arizona people are much worse, and I'm afraid to say anything because you never know who is packing heat around here. Small smile.
Daniel has also been picking at least a day of the week, usually Wednesday, to make whoever is here homemade breakfast and dinner. Last time breakfast was blueberry pancakes and dinner was fish tacos. The time before it was French toast for breakfast and stirfry chicken, peppers, and garlic for dinner. This is good for everyone, as he enjoys cooking and we all enjoy good food once in a while. A break from the quick cooking crap. He also has been helping with the grocery shopping, which is good because he actually knows how to shop on a budget. He will come home with nine bags of food versus their four, and still have some left over.
The big news is that I kicked butt at the meeting that was coming up in the last entry that I mentioned. I kept it on topic and track, despite a very thinly veiled threat to release me from my lease agreement if I file in civil court regarding the stolen laptop. When I confronted her on it she assured me that they would not release me for that, they would release me because I'm not thriving in this environment. They are not used to people like me that have brains and can stand up for themselves, and I scare the crap out of them. So I will looking for a new home come February. They can't just kick me out on the street, they have to wait until I find some place, so it won't be an emergency, but it's still weird and sad and stupid.
She even asked me what percentage I could actually physically use the laptop that was brought as a replacement. It was the only question I wasn't prepared for. Daniel says that I should have said something like the same percentage that I can use my hairbrush or wipe my own ass by myself. Does that mean my brush or behind is not mine? Because the point they were making is that the computer is actually Daniel's. But if they're going to get technical, almost everything in this room is Daniel's, having been bought by him. Because I came here with nothing. Does that mean they don't have to protect anything of my belongings? The court is going to have so much fun with this.
My dog fund raising is going well. Almost halfway to $3000. ABC told me they might be interested in the story, and now they're waffling a little bit, but I think they might come around. If you want to help, see the link on the side of this page. And share with all of your friends and family and churches. I need all the help I can get. Monday, the baseball game of the local team is service dog awareness day. So I will be there trying to rustle up some donations and learning all I can.
Somebody turned me on to the Stargate series, and I've been watching the first one on Netflix in the evenings. It's pretty good so far.
So even though I miss the freedom of motion I used to have in Portland, it seems that my days are relatively full anyhow. I can't believe it's almost been a year since I came.
There. Now you're all caught up. I will write again sooner than I did before. I hope everyone is well.