Amber's Abode

Dueling emotions

I went to my new urologist yesterday, and ended up crying afterward in a mixture of relief at finally being heard and frustration.  Turns out that I still am carrying a kidney stone somebody else told me I passed just so I would leave the hospital.  Well, it's highly likely anyway.  He won't know for sure until he does a CAT scan next week, but he says that all my symptoms, including a constant infection, are indicative of it.  Especially the pain.  He says that the size that they documented I had is too big to pass on my own, especially for a catheter user.

And speaking of the catheter, he says that it was completely done wrong the first time, inserted in a place too low and where it never gets any air so it's always moist and infected.  So he's going to have to do surgery to do it over the right way, and he will blast any kidney stones away at the same time.  So you can see why I'm really relieved and angry at the same time.  At least they are fixing it now, but it's so frustrating that I wasn't worth doing the job right the first time; and that I have been in pretty much needless pain and suffering for the better part of three years because somebody royally screwed up.

That and they left me in the waiting room waiting for my ride afterwards, which was an hour late.  I really really wished I had my Kindle already.  (Daniel got his on my recommendation and before me.  Not fair!  :-).)  So far, I only have $125 out of $359 needed.  It's coming along slowly.  I know I will eventually get it, but there are so many ways it would make my life better right now that it's hard not to be impatient.  And I really feel like I could use something, anything, good happening in my life right now.  I'm so exhausted from my own things and trying to help my friends.

My birthday is the Friday after next, and I'm hopeful that it will be a good day.

Nothing more to report for now.  The sun of the last two days went away, and it's gray and cloudy again.  :-(.  I will figure out something to do though.  I hope everyone is well and happy.

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