Amber's Abode

Happiness would be never having to say anything even resembling goodbye

I feel a little like a deflated balloon.  In approximately half an hour, Roland's flight takes off for his home across the ocean.  We knew it really wouldn't work very easily for me to take him to the airport, so we did the farewell thing yesterday evening, pretty early because we were both pretty tired.  I thought I could be strong through that, but I wasn't.  Walking away from him/getting on that bus was one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life.

Poor guy.  I was blubbering/vocalizing mostly incoherently for like a half an hour before I could calm down enough to pilot my wheelchair to the bus stop.  I'm sorry for that, dear one.  (Yeah, I know, I owe you another dime now.) But how do you adequately thank someone for all of their gifts in your life?  And how do you walk away from your best friend knowing that it might be years before you see him again?  I know we have online, but it's not the same.

I feel like I wasn't the best hostess.  And we spent a lot of time waiting for a bus, sometimes the wrong one, but I believe he still enjoyed himself well enough, especially considering that he didn't want to be back in this area really to begin with.  We went shopping and just hung out mostly.  But the timing was bad because I didn't have my own space to share with him, so there was no relaxed anime watching or anything.  Sigh.

But, oh my God, it was so good to see him again.  To give him real hugs and see his smile and just breathe the same air for awhile.  I'm so proud of him.

Ja ne, sempai-san!

(Dodging the impending pillow aimed at my head.)

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